Every year on March 17, we honor Saint Patrick (circa 385–461), one of the patron saints of Ireland. Whether or not you choose to celebrate the holiday by wearing green, eating Irish foods, imbibing Irish drink (usually Guinness), or attending parades, we wish you a safe and happy holiday.

Everyone wants to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day... even computer operating systems (WARNING: Serious nerd humor below). So as you raise your glass to St. Patrick this year, try to pretend your beer was a computer operating system. It might go a little like this...



Macintosh Beer
Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.

DOS Beer
Requires you to use your own can opener, and that you read the directions carefully before opening the can. The can is divided into eight compartments of 2oz each, which have to be accessed separately. A lot of people keep drinking it after it was discontinued.

Windows 3.1 Beer
Was the world's most popular beer in the mid-1990s. Looked a lot like Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer. Claims that it allows you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in reality you can only drink a few of them, very slowly, especially slowly if you are drinking the Windows Beer at the same time. Sometimes, for no apparent reason, a can of Windows Beer will explode when you open it.

Windows NT Beer
Windows NT beer could only be purchased by the truckload. This caused most people to have to go out and buy bigger refrigerators. The can looked just like Windows 3.1 Beer. Touted as an "industrial strength" beer, and suggested only for use in bars.

Windows XP Beer
Tastes like Windows 2000 beer but comes with a pretty dress. It opens sometimes without asking and if you leave a case of it open for awhile, it might explode all over your basement. Oh best of all, sometimes Windows XP Beer likes to open your front door and let people in to hang advertisements all over your house and steal your credit card number.

Windows Vista Beer
Windows Vista Beer looks a lot like the newest Mac Beer but tastes more like Windows XP Beer. Most people will probably keep drinking Windows XP Beer until their friends try Windows Vista Beer and say they like it. Many people try Windows Vista Beer, then spit it out and spend hours trying to put Windows XP Beer back into the same can.

UNIX Beer
This very heavy beer comes in 32oz cans, and has been around for years, rumor has it that it was originally brewed as a hoax by a couple of bored workers, only for them to find that some people actually liked the stuff. It tends to be drunk only by freaks or eccentric academics, often with beards; and drinkers of it do not like drinkers of any other beer. In its basic form it doesn't look particularly impressive, but with the addition of a magic ingredient named "X", it can be converted into an all-singing all-dancing beer on a par with the others. Many other varieties exist, with a huge range of flavors and (often unpronounceable) ingredients. Mac Beer has many of the same ingredients as Unix Beer.

OS/2 Beer
Tasted like a mix between Unix and DOS Beer. Allowed you to drink several DOS Beers and a Windows 3.1 Beer simultaneously, but slowly. You never saw anyone drinking OS/2 Beer, but the manufacturer (International Beer Manufacturing) claimed that 9 million OS/2 Beer 6-packs were sold. The best place these days to find a an OS/2 Beer is inside an old ATM machine.

Amiga Beer
The company went out of business, but their recipe was picked up by some weird German company, so now this beer is an import. This beer never really sold very well because the original manufacturer didn't understand marketing. Like Unix Beer, Amiga Beer fans are an extremely loyal and loud group. When this can was originally introduced, it appeared flashy and colorful, but the design never changed much over the years, so it looked dated in its later years.





VMS Beer
Requires minimal user interaction, except for popping the top and sipping. However cans have been known on occasion to explode, or contain extremely un-beer-like contents. Best drunk in high pressure development environments. When you call the manufacturer for the list of ingredients, you're told that is proprietary and referred to an unknown listing in the manuals published by the FDA. Rumors are that this was once listed in the Physicians' Desk Reference as a tranquilizer, but no one can claim to have actually seen it.


methodshop

Labels: holiday, internet

Does your significant other complain that you're not "romantic" enough? Need some clever stuff to say tomorrow for Valentine's Day? Perhaps this dating video from the 1980's might help/hurt your efforts.

After coughing up a few of these terrible pickup lines, simple everyday conversation like "Please pass the salt" will sound romantic.

Here are some of our favorite lines from the video. Enjoy!

• I'm an executive by day and wild man by night.
• Hi my name is Phil. Most of my good friends call me big Phil.
• I'm not afraid to get sand on my Tuxedo.
• I do fashion photography.
• I consider myself a refined valley dude.
• Who so binds to himself a joy thus a winged life destroy.
• I'm looking for the Goddess. Are you the Goddess?
• I'm a 25 year subscriber to both Playboy and The New Yorker.
• At night I operate a damsel in distress hot line. I guess you'd call me at night.
• I'm just sugar and spice and all those things that are nice.
• I like to wear bright socks.
• Life is a playground and I want somebody to play with.
• I will cry at a commercial.
• I'm interested in most phases of data processing.
• Type "A" I'm not. Comfortable, caring and serious about a relationship I am.

Want to save this YouTube video on to your computer? Here's a step-by-step methodshop.com tutorial on how to rip video files off YouTube.com and convert them for any iTunes compatible device like an iPod, iPhone or Apple TV.

methodshop

Labels: holiday, internet, video

Happy New Year from methodshop.com. Hopefully this baby won't make an appearance at your party tonight. If he does, watch your step.

Thanks for a great decade! Believe it or not, this site turns 14 years old this coming March.

methodshop

Labels: holiday, pics

Santa Soundboard is a fun Flash music game for the kids. Just click on Santa and his reindeer to activate different sounds and add to the song. Merry Christmas!

GAME: Santa Soundboard


methodshop

Labels: games, holiday

"For your safety and ours, please remove holiday masks before entering."

Sounds like a wild party. How do we get an invite?

methodshop

Labels: holiday, pics

Santa's elves need your help decorating a Christmas Tree. Take the globe ornaments from them and place them on the tree as fast as you can. If an ornament doesn't have a hook, then place it in its colored box. Watch out for bombs and don't drop too many globes. You only have 3 lives. Merry Christmas!!!

Play: Christmas Tree [game]


methodshop

Labels: games, holiday

The timeless holiday film, A Christmas Story, is full of plenty of classic scenes like the Chinese turkey, Ralphie's Black Bart fantasies, the schoolyard flag pole and last but not least... the infamous Leg Lamp.

It took about 20 years, but now you too can own the coveted Leg Lamp. And you don't even have to win a contest like the Old Man to get one. They sell the damn things on Amazon.com, and they even come in multiple sizes!

This half-scale reproduction of the Leg Lamp from the 1983 movie A Christmas Story isn't completely accurate, but for a mere $40 bucks it's probably close enough for most Christmas Story fans. And honestly, it's smaller scale will be more apt to blend in with the average living room.

Full Review: The Leg Lamp (from "A Christmas Story")


methodshop

Labels: holiday, review

.

This is from one of our readers. Enjoy:

"Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever.Great stories. But two things made me take it down.

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn't realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn't take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard."

methodshop

Labels: holiday, internet, pics

Turkey Bowl is a 3D perspective target game where you celebrate the fall harvest by bowling over turkeys with apples. Aim for the turkeys further away. They are worth more points. Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Play: Turkey Bowl


methodshop

Labels: games, holiday

With Thanksgiving only days away, it looks like some wild turkeys in suburban New Jersey decided to launch a preemptive strike.

"Mommy!!!!!! The turkey stole my bike!"

The turkeys in this video were caught on camera terrorizing a New Jersey neighborhood. At one point in the video, the mother grabs her kids from the attacking turkeys and runs into oncoming traffic. Maybe next time she should try throwing apples at the turkeys.

Who knew turkeys could be so dangerous. If you're a parent in N.J., then you might want to keep the kids indoors until after Thanksgiving.

VIDEO: Wild Turkeys Terrorizing New Jersey Neighborhood


methodshop

Labels: holiday, video

Like carving Halloween pumpkins into jack-o'-lanterns but don't want to get your hands all dirty with goopy pumpkin innards? This virtual pumpkin carving game won't only keep your hands clean, but it's fun too.

Play: Virtual Pumpkin Carving



methodshop

Labels: games, holiday

At one point, the art of Halloween pumpkin carving went extreme... these are the photos.




PICTS: Extreme Halloween Pumpkins

methodshop

Labels: holiday, pics

What do you do with a giant record breaking pumpkin that weighs over 1,000 lbs!? Hollow it out and race it! Pumpkin Boat Racing first started gaining popularity a few years ago (the video above is from 2007). But the Germans have really taken a liking to the fringe sport.

According to spiegel.de, they plan on hosting a Pumpkin Boat Raging European Championship in 2010.

Germany staged its first ever pumpkin motor boat racing championship on Sunday. It was such a success that the country plans to host the European championship next year. A woman newcomer to the world of pumpkin racing won the 200-meter race.

Giant pumpkins don't make the best racing boats but they do have one advantage over wood and carbon-fiber-- they can be turned into gallons of soup.

Four contestants took part in Germany's first motor boat pumpkin race on Sunday in their outsized fruit vessels fitted with 3.5 horsepower outboard engines capable of reaching speeds of up to 10 kilometers an hour, said the Holiday Park Hassloch, an amusement park in southwestern Germany which hosted the race.

Related Articles:

• Virtual Pumpkin Carving [game]
• Funny Halloween Pumpkins [pics]

methodshop

Labels: holiday, video

Looks like the perverts from Mattel have been busy. Their latest creation is a vibrating Harry Potter broomstick that has teenage girls everywhere going wild.

Amazon was selling the vibrating Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 broomstick for only $19.99, but the sex shops in New York City sell it for double. After sending Amazon.com an email asking for a comment, they temporarily stopped selling the item. If you go to Amazon's page for the Nimbus now, you will see that not only did they delete all of the controversial reviews, but they no longer sell the product. Too bad, it would make a great Halloween costume.

You still might be able to find the Nimbus on eBay or through a third party seller, but regardless where you buy this thing, make sure you pick up some extra batteries and keep your teenage daughters away from it. Who knew Harry was such a stud?

Review: Harry Potter Nimbus 2000


methodshop

Labels: gadgets, holiday, review

"Ahoy darlin'! Prepare to be boarded!"

Have you noticed people randomly talking like pirates today? Are you wondering why several major websites have added pirate flags to their logos.

Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. The parody holiday was invented in 1995 by John Baur ("Ol' Chumbucket") and Mark Summers ("Cap'n Slappy") who proclaimed September 19th each year as the day when everyone should talk like a pirate.






For example, an observer of this holiday would greet friends not with "Hello," but with "Ahoy, me hearty!" Here are a few Pirate Pickup Lines if you decide to hit the bars after work and want to go home with a mate:

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

1. Prepare to be boarded.

methodshop

Labels: holiday, internet, offbeat

Thanks Wikipedia!

methodshop

Labels: holiday, pics

Did Warner Bros. Acquire The Pirate Bay? Is Qualcomm expanding their wireless coverage with transmitters connected to Wolfpigeons? Careful what you read online today and check your calendar. That's right, it's April Fools Day.

Here are some of the best April Fools Day jokes you'll see online today. Enjoy!

---

Reddit Reborn as Redigg - Are the crowd-sourcing wars over? If you go to http://reddit.com today you might think you accidentally typed in Digg.com. For their April Fools Day joke, Reddit mockingly adopted their competitor's design and were reborn as Reddigg!

---

Google Autopilot - Too busy to read and respond to your own emails? No problem. Google has a new artificial intelligence technology called Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity (CADIE) that will read and respond to all your email for you.

---

Qualcomm's Wireless Convergence - Qualcomm has a plan to help increase wireless coverage: put tiny base stations in pigeons and make their wireless network accessible anywhere in the world. But how does Qualcomm protect their pigeon transmitters from feral cats? By splicing the pigeons with wolves and giving them the skills and tenacity they need to survive in the wild. But how do you control a winged wolf population in the wild? Can you say Sharkfalcon? What about Crocodegle? It gets a little complicated. You might want to watch this YouTube clip from Qualcomm that helps explain how they plan to control all these new winged predators/transmitters in the wild.

---

Guardian Switches to Twitter - Sure the newspaper industry is a dieing dinosaur but... switching to Twitter? For their April Fools Day joke, the Guardian informed readers that after 188 years of publishing, the newspaper will now only be available via Twitter. According to "experts" cited in the article, any news story can be told in 140 characters (the maximum number of characters Twitter allows per update).


methodshop

Labels: holiday, internet

Four Leaf Clover is pretty mindless and easy enough to play while your still a little hungover from the St. Patrick's Day Parade. The goal of Four Leaf Clover is very easy: you have to find all 7 four leaf clovers in the field. But hurry. You are being timed. And guess carefully. You lose points each time you make a wrong guess. Have fun and may the luck of the Irish be with you!



methodshop

Labels: games, holiday

Every year on March 17, we honor Saint Patrick (circa 385–461), one of the patron saints of Ireland. Whether or not you choose to celebrate the holiday by wearing green, eating Irish foods, imbibing Irish drink (usually Guinness), or attending parades, we wish you a safe a happy holiday.

Everyone wants to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day... even computer operating systems (WARNING: Serious nerd humor below). So as you raise your glass to St. Patrick this year, try to pretend your beer was a computer operating system. It might go a little like this...



Macintosh Beer
Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.

DOS Beer
Requires you to use your own can opener, and that you read the directions carefully before opening the can. The can is divided into eight compartments of 2oz each, which have to be accessed separately. A lot of people keep drinking it after it was discontinued.

Windows 3.1 Beer
Was the world's most popular beer in the mid-1990s. Looked a lot like Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer. Claims that it allows you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in reality you can only drink a few of them, very slowly, especially slowly if you are drinking the Windows Beer at the same time. Sometimes, for no apparent reason, a can of Windows Beer will explode when you open it.

Windows NT Beer
Windows NT beer could only be purchased by the truckload. This caused most people to have to go out and buy bigger refrigerators. The can looked just like Windows 3.1 Beer. Touted as an "industrial strength" beer, and suggested only for use in bars.

Windows XP Beer
Tastes like Windows 2000 beer but comes with a pretty dress. It opens sometimes without asking and if you leave a case of it open for awhile, it might explode all over your basement. Oh best of all, sometimes Windows XP Beer likes to open your front door and let people in to hang advertisements all over your house and steal your credit card number.

Windows Vista Beer
Windows Vista Beer looks a lot like the newest Mac Beer but tastes more like Windows XP Beer. Most people will probably keep drinking Windows XP Beer until their friends try Windows Vista Beer and say they like it. Many people try Windows Vista Beer, then spit it out and spend hours trying to put Windows XP Beer back into the same can.

UNIX Beer
This very heavy beer comes in 32oz cans, and has been around for years, rumor has it that it was originally brewed as a hoax by a couple of bored workers, only for them to find that some people actually liked the stuff. It tends to be drunk only by freaks or eccentric academics, often with beards; and drinkers of it do not like drinkers of any other beer. In its basic form it doesn't look particularly impressive, but with the addition of a magic ingredient named "X", it can be converted into an all-singing all-dancing beer on a par with the others. Many other varieties exist, with a huge range of flavors and (often unpronounceable) ingredients. Mac Beer has many of the same ingredients as Unix Beer.

OS/2 Beer
Tasted like a mix between Unix and DOS Beer. Allowed you to drink several DOS Beers and a Windows 3.1 Beer simultaneously, but slowly. You never saw anyone drinking OS/2 Beer, but the manufacturer (International Beer Manufacturing) claimed that 9 million OS/2 Beer 6-packs were sold. The best place these days to find a an OS/2 Beer is inside an old ATM machine.

Amiga Beer
The company went out of business, but their recipe was picked up by some weird German company, so now this beer is an import. This beer never really sold very well because the original manufacturer didn't understand marketing. Like Unix Beer, Amiga Beer fans are an extremely loyal and loud group. When this can was originally introduced, it appeared flashy and colorful, but the design never changed much over the years, so it looked dated in its later years.





VMS Beer
Requires minimal user interaction, except for popping the top and sipping. However cans have been known on occasion to explode, or contain extremely un-beer-like contents. Best drunk in high pressure development environments. When you call the manufacturer for the list of ingredients, you're told that is proprietary and referred to an unknown listing in the manuals published by the FDA. Rumors are that this was once listed in the Physicians' Desk Reference as a tranquilizer, but no one can claim to have actually seen it.


methodshop

Labels: holiday, internet

The average person may just think today is March 3rd. But to numbers nerds and math teachers, it's much more than that. Today's date, 3/3/09, is a square root. √9 = 3, or 3² = 3 × 3 = 9. For the math impaired, 3 is the square root of 9.

Square Root Days, as they are commonly called, only occur 9 times each century. If you weren't paying attention, then you might have missed the last Square Root Day on Feb. 2, 2004 (Groundhog Day). So enjoy today while you can. Go take an extra quiz or study for the SAT or GRE. The next Square Root Day isn't until April 4, 2016.




Photo by Skymother

methodshop

Labels: holiday

Did you get a HD flatscreen TV for Christmas? Need to return it? Please do the exact OPPOSITE of what you see here. The person who packed up and shipped this HDTV must have been a professional... idiot. They might as well have shipped this HDTV using bricks and bowling balls for padding. For future reference, here's a photo tutorial on how NOT to ship a Plasma or LCD HDTV.

PICTS: How NOT to Ship a HDTV

Labels: holiday, offbeat, pics, tutorial

Here's a fun little Christmas day treat for the whole family. MethodShop has a series of Yeti themed games to keep the in laws busy while you make Christmas dinner.

If you aren't yet familiar with Yeti Sports, then prepare yourself for one of the most humorous and addictive games on the Internet. Below you will find several variations of the Yeti game Pingu-Throw as well as some newer Yeti offerings. One of the more violent variants of Pingu-Throw, named "Bloody," features decapitation, spikes, a big spiky club and mines.


If Yeti isn't your thing, there are plenty of other games in the MethodShop.com Arcade including Pac-Man, N, Duck Hunt, Donkey Kong, and many more...

Good luck and Merry Christmas!

Yeti Games

• Yeti Pingu-Throw
• Yeti Pingu-Throw (Bloody)
• Yeti Pingu-Throw (Long Shot)
• Yeti Orca Slap
• Yeti Seal Bounce

methodshop

Labels: games, holiday

They didn't call the 1930's the "Terrible Thirties" for nothing. Back then, "truth in advertising" was a joke and for the most part, companies just said whatever they wanted in their advertisements.

From the silly and male chauvinistic to the deceptive lies, here are some of the most ridiculous ads from the 1930's.


There's something so wrong about a smoking Santa. Maybe Santa will put an ashtray in your stocking this Christmas.


methodshop

Labels: holiday, pics

The timeless holiday film, A Christmas Story, is full of plenty of classic scenes like the Chinese turkey, Ralphie's Black Bart fantasies, the schoolyard flag pole and last but not least... the infamous Leg Lamp.

It took about 20 years, but now you too can own the coveted Leg Lamp. And you don't even have to win a contest like the Old Man to get one. They sell the damn things on Amazon.com, and they even come in multiple sizes!

Regardless of the size of your Leg Lamp, it's sure to draw smiling comments from friends and family. Just don't take it to work. Otherwise HR might want to have a "talk" with you.

The Leg Lamp makes a great gift. It's fun, affordable (at least the smaller versions are), and adds a touch of class/fun to any room. If only Amazon.com would mark the outside of the package FRAGILE so you too could experience a nostalgic moment and slowly say "Fra-gee-lay" to everyone within earshot.

Review: Leg Lamp








The Leg Lamp is part of the MethodShop.com Gadget Gift Guide. We've rounded up the best gadget gifts money can buy. There's something for everyone. From tiny stocking stuffers to a personal mini tank. We've hand-selected some of the most popular gadgets this holiday season and organized them into a little interactive shopping list.


methodshop

Labels: holiday, review

If you’re reading this from a computer somewhere inside the US, you’re likely either already stuffed with Turkey or drooling in anticipation. If you’re outside the US, you’re probably wondering why half the blogs you read have gone to sleep–it’s the effects of the Turkey!

For Americans, cooking Thanksgiving dinner was a way to celebrate our new home away from the British and give thanks for the harvest. But anytime you are cooking a big meal for lots of people... unfortunately something is bound to get messed up.

When things go wrong in the kitchen, sometimes you probably feel like running down to the closest restaurant and asking for some professional advice. Actually physically busting into a restaurant kitchen may be a little extreme, but thanks to a few websites like ChefsLine.com, Butterball.com and Chefs.com, experienced chefs are connecting with home cooks online.

This year, Butterball has made a commendable effort to transition into a Web 2.0 world. Butterball customers can now sign up for thawing reminder text messages, read turkey related blogs, watch cooking tutorial videos and participate in live chats on Butterball.com.

This high-tech cooking assistance fills a growing need that has boomed due to the popularity of hobby cooking. Food TV shows, podcasts like Stump The Chef, and web sites are inspiring more and more people to try their hand in the kitchen. The only problem is... the average person doesn't really know how to cook anymore.

So the next time you are wondering how to cook a frozen turkey in one afternoon or why your flourless cake never cooked all the way through, professional help might be just one IM, website or email away. But before you start chatting with chefs online, you might want to brush up on your chatroom and IM lingo. Think I'm overreacting? Well, ROTFL TAFN NRN L8R! AAB!

And if you're completely computer impaired, there's always the Butterball help line, 1-800-BUTTERBALL (1-800-288-8372).


VIDEO: How to carve a turkey

When you're done chomping down your Thanksgiving turkey, try playing a game of Turkey Bowl.





methodshop

Labels: games, holiday, internet