| Q:
What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A: A Michael Jackson slumber party.
Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my sun!!
Q: When is it bed-time in MJ's house?
A: When the big hand touches the little hand!!
Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?
A: His other hand !!
Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy !!
Knock
Knock!
Who's There?
Little boy blue!
Little boy blue who?
Michael Jackson!!
Q: Why
does Michael Jackson arrange for private shopping?
A: So his guests won't be accompanied by guardians!
Q: Why isn't all the controversy bothering Michael?
A: He doesn't mind reaching bottom.
Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"?
A: Two 5 year olds.
Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!
Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalogue.
Q: What's the difference between Richard Pryor and Michael
Jackson?
A: Richard Pryor got burnt on coke, Michael Jackson
got burnt on Pepsi!
Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: What's black and comes in little white cans?
A: Michael Jackson
He asked his wife's doctor how soon after the birth could he
have sex.
The doctor told him he should wait until the kid is at least
12 or 13 years old.
Q: What do Michael Jackson & Michael Jordan have
in common?
A: They both play ball in the Minor League.
Q:
What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
A: Michael Jackson's hand !!
Q: What's the difference between them?
A: One is in the Minors, the other is into Minors.
Q: What happens when Michael talks about sex?
A: It's all very tongue in cheek.
The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he
hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says
he'll have no choice but to make him a priest.
Q:
How do we know Michael Jackson is ready to release another
album?
A: He has a lot of stuff in the can.
Q: What's the difference between Michael and a proctologist?
A: A proctologist doesn't pay for the assholes he's poked
around in.
Q: Why doesn't Michael have orgasms?
A: The big payoff comes a couple of months later.
Q: What's the worst stain to try to remove from a little
boy's underpants?
A: Michael Jackson's makeup.
Q: Hear about the new "Michael Jackson" candy
bar?
A: It's made from white chocolate, and contains no nuts.
Michael Jackson and Woody Allen on "Child Psychology":
"Spare the rod, and spoil the child."
Q: What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and
Michael Jackson?
A: Michael Jackson has had more noses.
Q: What did Michael Jackson suffer from as a kid?
A: Clitoris envy.
Q: How is Michael dealing with his problems?
A: He's holding his own.
Q: Why does Michael like children so much?
A: He knows how they feel.
Q: How can you tell when Michael Jackson is giving a
party?
A: By all the Big Wheels in his driveway.
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and
a Plastic bag?
A: One is made out of plastic and is dangerous for kids
to play with and one is used to carry groceries.
Q: Why does Michael own a theme park?
A: He's always been into children's shit.
Q: Did you hear Michael Jackson was running a "blue-light"
special at a local K-Mart?
A: Little boys' pants were half off!
Q: What makes Michael Jackson so unique?
A: It's the little boy inside him.
Q: How does Michael like to party?
A: He sips a couple of Tall Boys.
Q: What's the difference between Nixon and Michael Jackson?
A: One was a consummate asshole, the other a consummated
asshole.
Tuck the end of a jacket sleeve into your pants crotch. Hold
the jacket off to the side. Then ask, "What's this?"
"Dunno."
"Michael Jackson helping a kid put his coat on."
McDonald's is bringing out a new burger ..."Michael Jackson
Burger"... It has 35 yr old meat inside 5 yr old buns.
Q: WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HORSE RACING JOCKEY
AND MICHAEL JACKSON.
A: A JOCKEY CAN MOUNT 3 YEAR OLDS LEGALLY.
Q: WHAT DID MICHAEL JACKSON SAY WHEN HE GOT BACK TO NEVERLAND
RANCH FROM DRUG REHAB?
A: YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE A NEW BOY!
Q: What psychological problem does Michael still suffer
from?
A: Anal retention.
Q: What will they call the upcoming movie about Michael
Jackson?
A: "The African Queen."
Q: How do we know Michael Jackson isn't really a virgin?
A: He's got children out the ass.
Michael Jackson and Pee Wee Herman are have come out with a
new video called... "I'll beat it for you."
Q: Why did Michael Jackson want to join the Branch Davidians?
A: So he could be black again.
Q:
How will Michael pay off his old boyfriends?
A: Liquefy some assets.
What
are Michael Jackson's favorite sayings?
1) There's a sucker born every minute.
2) Kids do the darndest things.
3) Tricks are for kids.
Q: What's Michael's favorite group?
A: New Kids on the Cock.
Q: What do Michael and Gaylord Perry have in common?
A: Both have held lots of wet balls in their hands. |
Q:
Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
A: It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing
Q: What do Michael Jackson and the New York Mets have
in common?
A: They're both walking around with one glove on their
hand for no apparent reason whatsoever!!
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and
a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous
for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries
in !!
Q:
How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
A: There's a big wheel parked outside his house!!
Q: Heard about Michael Jackson's new songs?
A: I'm forever blowing bubbles!
Q:
Did you hear that Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding have
decided to begin training racehorses together?
A: Yeah, she's gonna do all the handicapping and he's
gonna ride all the three-year-olds!
Q:
What's Michael's favorite Canadian TV show?
A: The Kids in the Hall.
Q:
What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
A: They're both 30 year old meat between 10 year old
buns!
Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's toaster?
A: The bread goes in brown, and comes out white.
Q: What does Michael Jackson call a circumcision?
A: Foreplay.
Q What does Michael Jackson reminisce about when he gets
nostalgic?
A: Blowing his first nose.
Michael
said to Debbie one night, "I fancy some entertainment,
what shall we do?". To which Debbie replied " I know
we'll get a video".
Michael then said " Great, Ill get Aladdin". Debbie
said speedily "No Michael, You have been in trouble for
that before"
Q:
What famous celebrity had the most children over the last
10 years?
A: Michael Jackson.
Q:
What is Michael Jackson's Alma Matter?
A: Bring-em Young.
Q:
Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off !!
I
understand that Michael decided to have a boy of his own because
the legal fees are too expensive.
Q:
Why was Michael Jackson relieved of his Cub Scout Leader
duties?
A: He was up to a pack a day.
Q:
What will they call Michael's new TV series?
A: Anus and Andy.
Q:
Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore?
A: He's tired of all the cracks.
 Q:
Did you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson stamp?
A: Fans get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.
Q:
Why has Michael been appearing on children's shows lately?
A: He has a lot to plug.
A
confused nine year old boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is
God male or female?" After thinking for a moment, his mother
responds, "Well, God is both male and female." This
confuses the little boy so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
"Well, God is both black and white." This further
confuses the boy so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"
At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers none the
less, "Honey, God is both gay and straight." At this,
the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly
asks, "Is God Michael Jackson?"
Q:
Why does Michael travel with a huge road crew?
A: He always has a lot of shit to pack.
Q: Why did Michael go to college?
A: To get his Bachelor of Arse degree.
Q: Why's Michael trying out for the NBA?
A: He's a crack shooter.
Q: Why's Michael opening a sperm bank?
A: He always has a shitload of semen.
Q: Who's Michael Jackson's favorite poet?
A: Emily Dick in son.
Q: What does Michael call an orgy?
A: A fruit salad.
Q:
What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?
A: Got two fives for a ten?
Q: Did you hear about the duet by Michael Jackson and
Elton John?
A: It is titled "Don't let your son go down on me."
Q: Why does Michael Jackson hide for a couple hours after
one of his little friends leave?
A: It takes that long to get the bubble gum off his dick.
Q:
Why did Michael invite MacCauly Caulkin to the house?
A: He's like the little boy he never had.
Q: Why does Michael really need to go to rehab?
A: He's a crack addict.
Q: What's Michael Jackson's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: "Little Boy Blew."
Q: Did you know that Michael Jackson just turned 35?
A: Yeah, but he still feels like a 13 year old.
Q: How did Michael get in trouble?
A: He was feeling a little Randy.
Q:
How are Michael's friends dealing with the problem?
A: They're all standing behind him.
Q: How did Michael actually proposition the little boy?
A: It was just a slip of the tongue.
Q: What's sex like for Michael?
A: Child's Play.
Q: How is Michael now?
A: Feeling a little crotchety.
Q: Hear about the new Michael Jackson doll?
A: It comes in a little can.
Q:
What's Michael's favorite snack?
A: Slim Jim's.
Q: What's Michael's favorite fast food?
A: Big Boys.
Q: How do we know Michael is guilty?
A: Several children have fingered him.
Q: Why is Michael so tough?
A: He can lick any kid on the block.
Q: What's the new movie about Michael Jackson called?
A: "The Hand that Robs the Cradle."
Q: Why's Michael cutting down on public appearances?
A: He wants to spend more time with the kids.
Q: How are Michael's friends like U.S. veterans?
A: They all get fucked in the end.
Q: How will they ensure that Michael gets a thorough
body search?
A: Hire a Catholic priest to do it.
Q:
What's the difference between Michael and Connie Chung?
A: Michael's been able to have kids. |
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Lisa
Marie's Divorce Allegations
09)
Everywhere you turn, Elizabeth Taylor's supporting you through some sordid
allegation.
iPod Humor 
If you grew up during the 80's, then you probably remember the actor Wilford Brimley from movies like Cocoon, The Natural and his many Quaker Oats Oatmeal commercials. Does Wilford Brimley really look like a cat? You decide.
After such a high profile career spanning over 3 decades, Hasselhoff has partaken in many a cheesy photo shoot. In Hoff's defense, most of the embarrassing photos below were taken during the 1980's or in Europe. That almost provides a loose excuse for most of these photos. But many of them are still very questionable and a few actually are quite disturbing. 
