Ever
notice how different computers are in the movies from real life?
Movie computers are always more powerful, full of special features
and can do anything in the matter of seconds with the right person
behind the keyboard.
For example, the movies have taught
us that anyone can launch a nuclear missile if you know the password (War Games)
and infecting the entire Internet with a devastating computer virus is as simple
as typing "UPLOAD VIRUS" (Fortress).
But these are just a couple examples.
Annoyances.org has
assembled an extensive list of everything that's wrong with how computers
are used in the movies. Here's
some highlights from their list and a few of our own:
Computers in
Movies: Fact vs Fiction
Laptops, for some strange
reason, always seem to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities
and the performance of a CRAY Supercomputer
(see Mission Impossible).
Whenever a character
looks at a computer monitor, the image is so bright that
it projects itself onto his/her face (see Alien, 2001, Jurassic
Park).
If a surveillance photo/video
is too blurry to see the license plate/suspect's face, just
tell the nearest computer expert to "enhance" it.
Word processors never
display a cursor.
You
can infect a computer with a destructive virus
by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS" (see Fortress).
All computers are connected.
You can access the information on the villain's desktop
computer, even if it's turned off.
If something in the plot
is unexplainable, just blame it on the Internet or someone's
computer.
Powerful computers beep
whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes.
Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so
that it doesn't go faster than you can read.
All computer panels have
thousands of volts and flash pots just underneath the surface.
Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke,
a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backwards.
Any hacker can get into
the most sensitive computer in the world before the scene
is over and can guess the secret password in two tries.
Any
PERMISSION DENIED error has a secret backdoor around it (see Demolition
Man).
Complex calculations
and loading of huge amounts of data can be accomplished in
under three seconds.
Movie modems (especially
the wireless ones they must be using when they're in the
car) usually appear to transmit data at the speed of two gigabytes
per second.
When the power plant/missile-site/whatever
overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will
the entire building.
All monitors display
inch-high letters.
No matter what kind of
computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any system you
put it into. All application software is usable by all computer
platforms.
Most computers, no matter
how small, are able to produce reality-defying three-dimensional,
active animation, photo-realistic graphics, with little
or no detailed input from the user.
One can issue any complex
set of commands in a few keystrokes (see Star
Trek).
The internet connects
to everything in the movies. You can edit credit records,
search hotel registries, lookup police criminal files, search
and edit drivers license databases, edit social security
files and more just using the internet! (see The
Net)
Smashing the computer
monitor prevents the whole system from working (see Speed).
You can launch
nuclear missiles from any bedroom using an analog modem,
but only if you know a single secret password (see War
Games).
This is just a taste. If you want
to read the full list, please check out
Annoyances.org.
Paris
Hilton Hotel Movie Review Paris
Hilton is a hard parting rich girl who's family owns the Hilton Hotel
empire. But she's now a XXX movie star. Here's an in-depth review of
her amateur performance.
The Adventures of Prince Achmed The Adventures of Prince Achmed is so rich with wild imagination, you will forget your are watching animated paper cutouts in a silent film made a century ago. Someday this film will get the recognition it richly deserves.
Paris
Hilton vs. Lacey Underall Put
on an anti-viral panty liner and let the battle between the
spoiled rich blonde bitches begin! It's Paris Hilton, heiress
to the Hilton Hotel empire vs Lacey Underall from the movie
Caddyshack.
Cobra
Island Rave The
plot of Cobra Island Rave is almost as loose as the girls. He-Man
and Lion-o are looking for chicks at the Cobra Island Rave and
it's a wild night. Snarf is on ecstasy. Zartan is in the DJ booth
and Shaggy is shagging someone else's girlfriend (guess who)
next to Beavis and Butt-Head by the urinals.
Kumar:
My 88 Year Old Best Friend This
film provides a unique window into the fascinating and unlikely
friendship between eighty-eight year old cult film icon Kumar Pallana
(The Terminal, Royal Tenenbaums, Rushmore) and thirty-year old
indie label proprietor Dave Brown.
Computers
in Movies: Fact vs Fiction Why are
movie computers always more powerful, full of special features and
can do anything in the matter of seconds? Here's a list of everything
that's wrong with how computers are used in the movies.